Oh wait, that’s not entirely true. They discover a cool chair that either melts people’s brains/gives them the master code to piloting Destiny, we can’t really be sure which because  NOBODY SITS IN THE CHAIR! What the fuck? What kind of audience hating Writers Editors and Directors are working on this show?  Maybe I could understand putting off developing the “chair” plot if this episode already had some some kind of story going on that I gave a shit about. Really, why the Lesbian house call? 9 Episodes into the show and I can’t think of a single reason why I should care about Camile (Ming-Na), and yet somehow her character is rewarded with a remote Lez fest..I just don’t get it. Same deal with Matthew (Brian Smith), him having a kid back on earth with a Baby Momma doesn’t interest me.

Okay I also have to point out that this show decided to take a look at some minor “also onboard” characters. Battlestar Galactica did this to a pretty good effect, by exploring the interesting backstories and motives of characters that we otherwise wouldn’t have cared about. Maybe Stargate Universe is trying to do the same thing, but failing at it. These other characters bore me. I recommend feeding them through a stargate to a ravenous tiger or spider or tiger-spider. Shit, if there’d been an eight legged tiger clawing up and down the decks of Destiny this episode, this review would have gone an entirely different direction. They should hire me to write this damn show.

-GARY